We don’t have “willpower” & “motivation” muscles or bones in our bodies that are earmarked and dictate our level of willingness. We decide whether to take effective action based on the value we place on our health. It is our sabotaging thoughts that get us stuck and blocks our willingness to engage in a lifelong process of healthy eating and ongoing physical fitness. Thoughts such as “I will not be successful at it”, “It’s too hard”, “I don’t have the time”, etc. keeps us stagnant and blocked. When we have these thoughts, it impacts our feelings and directly affects our health and fitness behavior. As Nike’s famous slogan correctly states, “Just Do It”, we cannot wait to be motivated. We become motivated when we do. We feel better, have more energy, and our health improves. Taking action compels us to want to do more and stay invested.
I remember and periodically remind myself that this wasn’t always part of my lifestyle. The reminder helps to ground me when I’m feeling off my game. Throughout my adolescence and teens I carried extra weight and felt self-conscious. When I was 12, I lost 20 pounds in preparation for my Bat Mitzvah. I remember feeling proud and accomplished. At the time I didn’t have adequate resources or the wherewithal to know how to sustain it so I gained the weight back steadily and gained even more weight throughout my teens, reaching into young adulthood.
In my first year of college I studied overseas and gained even more weight. I came back to the States and decided I would commit to a lifestyle change; a complete overhaul of my diet and fitness behavior. I became a group aerobics instructor to earn extra money in college and graduate school and changed what and how I ate.
Subsequently I had four pregnancies, exercised throughout each of them and still found myself 75 pounds heavier with each. Following my pregnancies I lost the weight and returned back to my typical regimen. In eight years I gained and lost an astounding 300 pounds!
I don’t owe my weight maintenance to “willpower” or “motivation.” I wasn’t born with “more” or “less” willpower and/or motivation than anyone else. I get to decide on a daily basis how much effort I want to put toward my value of health. I integrate the skills I’m speaking to. Although less than in the past, there are still days where my thoughts and feelings lead me to want to sabotage myself and I have a litany of rationalizations why I shouldn’t exercise, why I should eat bigger portions and/or why I should eat foods I don’t intend on eating. Some days require more effort and I need to be more mindful and focused and other days are relatively effortless. I accept that about this practice and make it a point to continually monitor what’s going on in my physical body and how I’m continually processing my thoughts and feelings.
There are many thoughts that pass through our minds on a daily basis. Our thinking is not easily understood. It is complicated, confusing and often doesn’t make sense because it changes so often due to our mood, how we physically feel, a given situation, and our experience and history. We want so badly to control our thoughts and feelings, especially our uncomfortable ones. As much as we try, we could distract ourselves only temporarily, our uncomfortable thoughts and feelings return, often layered with shame, guilt and disappointment. An example of this is when you’re out to eat for dinner. The basket of bread approaches the table. You’re triggered. You’re hungry and the bread looks so crunchy and appetizing and you expect it will take approximately ten minutes until you receive your first course. You think, “I’m hungry”, “I’ll just have one piece” and “I just can’t hold out.” You feel frustrated and disappointed in yourself and further think, “What’s wrong with me”, “Why do I have to have these thoughts at all” and “Why can’t I have some self-control.” In order to quiet those voices and avoid sitting with the discomfort, you give into your thoughts and end up having three pieces of bread. You’re left feeling even more disappointed, shameful and hopeless and the cycle prevails.
This cycle probably sounds all too familiar not only with weight loss & weight management quandaries but with other points of stuckness as well. These skills are applicable and pertain to varied points of stuckness. I utilize them throughout my day and appreciate having a repertoire of skills to help guide my behavior.
Tips To Help You To “Just Do It”:
- When your mind leads you down the sabotaging path thank it for letting you know that you’re particularly vulnerable or unsettled at the moment and you may need to put in a bit of additional effort to act in accordance with your value of health. Say, “Thank you mind for trying to protect me and for making me aware that I need to step it up at the moment.” Note it and think about how you want to act. You get to decide not your mind. Remember that our mind has a mind of its own.
- Re-organize your schedule to include time for healthful eating and exercise. Identify what you need in order to remain organized and scheduled. There is greater chance for success when it is part of your routine and you know to expect it.
- Look up the menu of a restaurant before you go. Be sure that there are healthy alternatives and if you need to, call ahead to see if there is flexibility in adjusting menu items. Make it a point to assert your healthful needs.
- Mindless snacking can add up to 300 extra calories a day or more. It takes approximately 30 or more minutes of running to burn off these calories. Be mindful when you’re picking at, nibbling on, and dipping into foods. Be prepared for snack emergencies. Keep small healthful snacks handy that are fiber and protein enriched.
- Set realistic expectations for yourself based on what you know about yourself. Get a sense of what the real challenges are (i.e., you can’t stop at just one bite, you crave foods rich in fat and calories, and/or are prone to eat more than you intend to) and problem solve from that place of acceptance.
- Explore barriers and positive influences that impacted on your ability to exercise and lose weight (stick to nutritional plans/exercise regimens) in the past. Be aware and conscious what your stuckness was and put mechanisms in place to decrease the chances that this will re-occur for you. For example, if going to a buffet is challenging for you, decide how you will handle it the next time you decide to go or if need be, decide not to go at all and choose to sit for a meal where you can order from an a la carte menu.
- Integrate healthful eating and exercise into family time. An example of this is engaging in physical activities/exercise with your children and/or partner. This will provide you with a method to bond with them, relieve stress, and maintain a healthy lifestyle. You and your children/partner will learn invaluable lifelong skills for staying fit and healthy and will enjoy doing so in the process. Activities can include hiking, skiing, roller blading, ice skating, speed walking, biking, etc. You can also cook low-fat creative healthy meals together (e.g., substitute spaghetti squash for pasta and save 180 calories per portion).
- Many individuals express that they do not enjoy exercising. They express that if they did not have to, they would opt not to, and if they could purchase the results of exercise in a bottle, they would elect to instead of having to go through the process. Finding alternative, non-traditional, inexpensive, less time consuming, and more comfortable ways to exercise will increase the chances that you will agree to engage in it and stick to it for the long term. This could include taking Zumba (Zumba Incredible Results DVD), ballroom dancing, yoga (Tara Lee’s Elements of Yoga: Air & Water Flow) or kick boxing classes (Jeanette Jenkins’s Cardio Kickboxing DVD) or using other well-known at home DVD’s such as “Insanity”,” P90X” or “T25.” For a list of the best DVD’s go to: http://www.womansday.com/health-fitness/workout-routines/10-best-fitness-dvds-104111#last-slide and for the best DVD’s and workout games go to: http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/workout/gear/dvds/best-workout-dvds-2014/#page=16. Also, for the top 25 at-home fitness exercises go to: www.acefitness.org/acefit/fitness-programs-article/2863/Top-25-At-Home-Exercises/.
- You could also try on-demand exercise streaming services like Wello, LiveExercise, and Gaiam TV. They are relatively inexpensive and you could get an array of choices without having to invest in purchasing.
- You won’t see the progress you want by working out or eating mindfully once every week or couple of weeks. Consistency and perseverance is essential.
- Treat exercise like an important meeting. You cannot cancel at the last minute or blow it off.
- If you want to be inspired, surround yourself with inspiring people. You will increase the chances in engaging in healthy habits and behaviors because people around you are doing so (some good online support groups are www.sparkpeople.com & www.weightlossbuddy.com).
- Positive energy and self-esteem facilitates positive energy and self-esteem. Idleness and negative self-esteem facilitates idleness and negative self-esteem. What propels you to move forward in a positive direction is putting yourself in motion toward that direction.
- Your body is an extension of you. Each body part and its functionality are equally important. If your leg was broken would you neglect going to a physician? Why is it okay to neglect your vital organs like the heart, lungs, etc.?
- Think of a mantra that you say to yourself, particularly when you are experiencing those sabotaging thoughts, such as “I can’t” “I’m too busy” “I’m too tired to work out.” Try one on that fits for you. Mine is: “I’m strong. I’m powerful and giving up is not an option.”
- Appreciate, savor and acknowledge the small steps and accomplishments. Inherent in every practice is a process. You have committed to the process and deserve recognition.
Every part of us is okay and worthy of appreciation and recognition. Try saying it aloud, “I love my body and appreciate all it does for me.” How does it feel to express that? It probably feels awkward and is difficult to connect to at the gut level. Most people report feeling that way. It says something about the way in which we view ourselves and the level of comfort in expressing appreciation for ourselves. I hope we could do more of this. Let’s honor our bodies for what it does and how it functions!
