What I’m Sorry and Not Sorry About.
We are steadily moving toward living life as we once knew it, yet another Mother’s Day is being celebrated during the pandemic. It has been since last March that life drastically changed. Most of us cannot ever remember experiencing such a range of emotions in such a short period of time. Through COVID there was new consideration of our safety, health, economic viability, socialization, among other things.
A lot still looms for us as we are now venturing into what feels like a new world where we must consider our new normal. Never could we have imagined being in this predicament. We quickly realized that we have limited control and that life is full of uncertainty. This is a prime opportunity to consider what and who is meaningful to us and how we want to live our best lives.
On this Mother’s Day I am processing the impact this circumstance had on my children. I am sad for their adversity and challenge yet am equally grateful for all the critical life lessons it has afforded them with. There are things that I feel sorry for and other things that I feel immense gratitude for.
My Children, I’m Sorry That…
- Your schooling and learning were disrupted by remote learning, and that it took this long to finally get back to school.
- You learned in a manner that was not conducive to your learning style and needs, and now you and your classmates may be behind academically.
- You missed major milestones and events that needed to be rescheduled or canceled.
- You were denied natural human connection and affection that you were used to, missed, and wanted, and that there continues to be barriers to making it natural and seamless.
- Your socialization was inhibited, as your natural development directs you into prioritizing your peer relationships.
- As the pandemic is making its way out, that we continue to be plagued with acts of racism, mass shootings, terrorism, school shootings, etc.
My Children, I Feel Gratitude That…
- You had the ability to challenge your resilience and build adaptive coping skills through the adversity.
- You learned to be more cognizant, sensitive to, and advocate for the greater good.
- You realize that life is filled with uncertainty so there is a need to intentionally be in and appreciate the present moment.
- You continue to develop the flexibility to take risks, make transitions, and strategize.
- You had the opportunity to tap into true gratitude for your relationships and face to face contact, communication, and connection.
- You got to experience more family time and participated in activities that we did not ordinarily engage in.
- Many activities were suspended so that you had opportunities to just be.
- You learned to better cope with boredom and expand your creativity.
- You developed stronger appreciation for freedom, health, and human connection.
- You gained knowledge about nurturing our environment and witnessed the skies clearing of pollution and wildlife returning to newly clear waters.
- You are more aware of hygiene, health, self-care, and fitness.
- You recognized that we could work to accommodate change and stretch ourselves to limits that we never thought we could.
- You took on new interests and hobbies.
- You witnessed healthcare providers and first responders being praised and recognized and got to see true heroism.
- You observed everyday heroes including frontline workers such as supermarket cashiers, bus drivers, postman, security guards, etc. getting the recognition they deserved.
- You have a true appreciation for your teachers and the classroom setting because you were forced into remote learning.
- You have a greater awareness about the value of human life.
- You gained the realization that things can change in an instant and that we need to appreciate every precious moment.
While this Mother’s Day comes along with many mixed emotions, it affords me with gratitude for the invaluable lessons my children have learned. Through adversity we can thrive, grow, and have new profound perspectives. As we reconvene, let it be with dignity while assessing for ourselves and our families what truly matters.
Blog as published in Psychology Today.