Yesterday was quite an emotionally provoking day for me. My emotions were heightened because of several interactions I had with clients on a day when I was due to be off. It led me to contemplate about what living a “meaningful life” truly means in regard to honing in on how we assess our productivity and personal passions. Tapping into our productivity and passions ingratiates us with a life of personal satisfaction, self-love and gratitude for the life in which we lead.
Last night I took the opportunity to see one of my former clients in a play in which he was performing in. Acting was where his heart was even though, for practical reasons, he opted for a formal career outside of this field. This debut was a semi “rebirth” for him after going through a painful divorce.
He was so extremely proud that he was reconnecting to his passion and wanted to share this with me. I wanted to be there to support his progress and personal success, especially because it was so important to him that I be there to bear witness to it.
Another client called me soon after the play ended and requested that I do a brief guided meditation with her. She wanted to feel more grounded and reassured during her heightened anxiety due to a panic attack.
She rarely if ever called me outside of session and is also someone who came into treatment because of experiencing a harrowing trauma and never contemplated or attended treatment prior to this circumstance. It was important to her and I took the time to do a grounding exercise with her to re-stabilize her and reinstate her safety.
I ended my day feeling truly blessed that I had the opportunity to share so intimately in other’s lives and provide them with support that are both on a therapeutic and humanistic level. I thought about whether others connect to those feelings and what can foster a life of meaning, productivity and connecting others to their passions.
Tips On How To Tap Into Living A Meaningful Life:
- Do for others and don’t expect anything in return. If they ask if they can return the favor, suggest that they pay it forward and spread the generosity and thoughtfulness.
- Assess on a daily basis whether you are making concerted effort to lean into your core values and identify what specific action you took to carry that out (e.g., you follow up with a sick friend and let her know you were thinking about her and wanted to know how she was feeling thus leaning into your values of connection, compassion and empathy).
- Take a meaningful moment to listen to someone who needs to be heard without getting distracted, interrupted or digressing from the conversation.
- Acknowledge when you feel that you’re judging, criticizing or negatively evaluating someone and go back to just observing them without layering your sentiments with negativity and judgment (e.g., instead of “he didn’t get back to me, he’s so irresponsible and selfish” consider, “he didn’t get back to me. I’m going to seek to find out why.”).
- Challenge yourself to proactively reach out to someone you have been thinking about or was thinking of further connecting with and have avoided doing so (i.e., rationalizing that you’re too busy, they may not be interested, and/or you are leery of how to approach them).
- Reach out to someone who is in distress or is challenged in some way. Check up on them and share with them that they were in your thoughts.
- If you cannot find deep passion and meaning in the work that you do (i.e., work can be defined differently for different people; it is not only intended to only mean formal employment), then find something outside of it that drives you to feel a sense of pride and self-satisfaction (e.g., volunteer work, creative arts, etc.).
- Assess continually and consistently what you would be left with if your life ended tomorrow. Contemplate what you would feel guilt and shame about and earmark what would be on your “unfinished business” list. Mindfully work on this list to make life more meaningful for you.
This evening my six year old daughter reminded me of the varied ways we can find meaning in our lives and do what we need to in order to feel productive and proud.
Over the years, she has made it perfectly clear that she does not like to perform in front of others and refuses to do so. She assertively drove the point across when I was forced to take her off the stage at a dance recital several years ago.
Tonight, I made the feeble attempt for her to reconsider and suggested that she may take the opportunity to join her friend’s acting class. She expressed, “Mom, you know I wouldn’t do that.”
I reminded her that late last year she performed at her school assembly in front of a fairly large audience. She responded, “I did that because it was important to the parents, I wanted to make them happy. Knowing that they were happy, made me happy.”
She went out of her comfort zone and proactively fostered a moment of meaning. I acknowledged her accomplishment and said, “You made a moment of meaning for you and the parents, a very good reason to be proud of yourself. You get to choose when you want to perform.”
All of these efforts come with a degree of conscientiousness and commitment. The willingness and desire to live life more meaningfully is what drives us to do more, sometimes over and beyond what we might ordinarily consider or think we are capable of.
