Last week was a week of countless tragic deaths. Natalie Cole, David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Rene Angelil (Celine Dion’s husband and her brother died days later), Dan Haggerty, and Glenn Frey all succumbed to health related issues.
It is exasperating to think about how vulnerable we are and how precious our lives truly are. In one moment we could be active and well and in another moment we can be facing a battle of life or death.
When faced with death what people end up regretting most is: not being loving enough, not spending enough time with their loved ones, not being in the “now” to appreciate and enjoy precious moments and experiences, not appreciating and showing gratitude for all that they had, not taking enough risk and/or challenging themselves, not taking good enough care of themselves, and not choosing work that was meaningful enough for them.
Think for a moment about whether you are harboring regrets, which undoubtedly carries with it guilt. Are you able to get in touch with what you would regret if it were your last days? How many of us fully live in the moment and as if it’s our last and final day? I expect we would be living differently if we had that sentiment formatively in our minds day in and day out.
We may not be able to live every moment mindfully but we can all definitely do a better job to live life more meaningfully. There are ways that we can facilitate mindful living and purposefully paying attention to the precious moments, experiences, people and things that surround us every day.
Think about:
1. Whether you are being kind, caring, compassionate and open to others (thoughts, feelings, opinions, experiences, etc.) or whether you approach others with suspicion, frustration, disappointment, etc.
2. If you’re spending ample time being with loved ones. This encapsulates both the quantity and quality of the time. Also, whether you’re continually expressing your thoughts and feelings and sentiments of kindness and love to them.
3. Whether your interactions are joyful, enriching and meaningful. Also that this shared time involves you being fully present and keenly paying attention during your time together.
4. Learning to be more appreciative and grateful for all that you have. Take an inventory of a smaller and larger things that you feel grateful for and take note of it daily. Additionally, express gratitude more often. Expressing it provides nourishment to the other person and to yourself as well.
5. Taking risk and challenging yourself. Try to challenge yourself at least once a day to get out of your comfort zone. Living in fear and chronic worry or with perpetual discomfort around change and transitions takes away from truly living life. Without trying new challenges, you just stay stuck and stunt yourself from necessary progress and personal growth.
6. Taking better care of yourself. Evaluate your self-care, including your physical, emotional and social needs. Commit to coming up with a concrete plan, including short and long-term goals and objectives that are feasible and those you can measure. Continually update and amend them on a daily and weekly basis.
7. How you define your unique purpose and strive to consistently accomplish tasks that lean into that purpose.
8. What your ideal job might be. This applies to any job or role that you take on. Contemplate what might excite you and give you a sense of fulfillment. Pursue it slowly, thoughtfully and strategically.
9. Persistently working on your self-acceptance, self-belief, self-compassion and self-love. This won’t get developed on its own. It needs to be continually worked on and requires unrelenting effort. Relinquish thinking that this will come from others and recognize that it comes from within so work on it daily.
10. Mistakes and mishaps as being life’s lessons. Pursue being forgiving of yourself and others and continually working on your personal development.
The other day I met with a man who forgave his father after enduring years of neglect during his childhood. When discussing how he was able to forgive him, he graciously answered, “I am who I am today because of my experiences. I have to appreciate the life lessons and make meaning out of them so that I can find and pursue the life I want to lead.” He further said, “If I were to die, I want to go without regrets and reflect on myself as a kind and loving individual.”
We never want to think about our final day approaching and how the entire trajectory of our lives can change in an instant but life is too precious not to think about it. Life can be approached with much regret or it can be lived with purpose, mindfulness and meaning. We have an important choice to make.
